


Arathrone: The Dovakiin

by thestorywolf



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2018-12-15 22:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11815053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestorywolf/pseuds/thestorywolf
Summary: read and fin out





	1. Prologue Part 1

It's weird how one decision can change your life forever. My life changing decision was choosing to steal a priceless artifact from a bloodthirsty whore. It was that afternoon that I had planned and stolen a golden dragon bone amulet from the Jarl’s daughter and the army’s Strongest Soldier, Ulfra motherfucking Stormcloak. Oops.

      That brings us to now. I, Arathrone, made that life changing decision and I have yet to determine if it was for better or worse. I am currently hauling ass and priceless artifacts down the alley I turned into trying to escape the raging beast that is the Jarl’s daughter.

THUNK

A large, sharp axe implanted itself into the very solid, very much stone wall to my left. Great. Now she has weapons. 

“Are seriously throwing fucking axes at my head? What the hell! Crazy bitch!” 

THUNK

“Your ass is mine! You better run fast because when I catch you you’ll look like a giant stomped on you. You messed with the craziest bitch in Windhelm and you won't be leaving here with all you balls! I'm gonna fucking castrate you!” 

Swing.

‘She just caught my crossbow bolt! This bitch is fucking insane. Holy Talos save my soul from this Deadra incarnate!’ I picked up the pace. I really didn't want to lose my balls, children sounded nice in my future. A lovely family, a caring wife maybe. 

Somewhere in oblivion...

“You know Nocturnal that is technically my desendant.” Serogorath and Nocturnal leaned over the portal that currently showed Arathrone and Ulfra, Serogorath was pointing down at the thief who they had witnessed steal the amulet. They watched as Ulfra threw another axe at Arathorne and Nocturnal was trying to figure out where she had gotten all the weapons from. 

“So, Serogorath?”  The thief Deadra asked watching as another sharp axe hit the stone inches away from the thief.

“Well, I’m often accused of being the God of Madness and Death. This bitch is giving me a run for my money and my desendant’s balls.” He commented as Arathrone had just run out of bolts for his crossbow. “It would be a shame, if my greatest descendant couldn't have an heir to continue my lineage.”

Serogorath laughed and gave his Deadra companion a pitying look; he returned to watching the portal. It was just getting good. 

Back to Windhelm...

Well this is fucking perfect a dead end on one side and on the other a violent monster with boobs, an indefinite number of axes and a thirst for his blood. Maybe I should of started praying long ago. Oops. 

How many times in the past hour had he regretted his decision to steal the amulet? Zero. This was his life and he lived by his motto: Steal to live or die trying. 

‘Oh shit. i am so fucking dead.’ He tried to think back to his greatest regrets. Maybe he could repent now and be sent to live with Mara or some shit. Unfortunately, the only regret he had was not loosing his virginity sooner. ‘Fuck. I'm gonna die a virgin.’ Why am i such a pussy?

As the big boobed monster kept getting closer and closer to me I noticed with a touch of glee that she had no more axes. I got a little cocky and maybe that was my second bad decision that day but hell, if i was gonna die why not live life to the fullest? 

“Hey, I know I stole from you and all but it was really shiny.” Ulfra glared daggers and i almost felt them stab into my soul. Damn, maybe scary is an understatement. Any lady who can make me feel pain by just looking at me has earned my utmost respect. Too bad she was gonna kill me.

She stopped a few feet from me and placed her hand on the hilt of her sword. I watched as she drew the beautiful and terrifying blade from its sheathe. If I was gonna lose my balls at least it would be by a pretty sword. 

“Look now, thief! This is the sword I was blessed with by my father. It's name is Adilya and it is Elvish for the word justice. Many of my enemies have fallen by my hand and you will be the next. Prepare your balls for castration!” 

“Hey just calm down. You probably don’t have the balls to do it anyway, bitch!” I yelled back at her ‘please adrea or deadra help me.’ I need to fucking shut up.

Meanwhile back in oblivion…

“He just keeps digging himself deeper and deeper.” Molag Bal spoke. By now a crowd had gathered around the portal to witness the scene. Some of the Deadra lords had begun to place bets on who would come out the victor. Everyone; however, wanted to be present for the first ever death-by-castration.

“Well Molag, he’s going to lose his life anyway,” Meridia replied. “Although, I must find out where he learned of such foul speech. I don't think the Deadra lord of language knew such words existed.” This earned her a couple chucked from the lords behind her. 

“Look! The she-demon is saying something! Be quiet and we might be able to hear her words.” A shout came from one of the deadra in the gathering crowd. They all watched as more words were exchanged and the show came closer to its end. 

‘Some of the deadra are going to be disappointed,’ Molag mused. The bets were mostly placed on the young women but he had a feeling that the outcome was going to be an unexpected one. 

In Windhelm...

“OK, maybe we can make a deal? Let me have the amulet and you walk away. I keep my balls and the amulet.” I reasoned. She gave me a look that said ‘bitch, please.’ At that moment if decided that Windhelm girls were too scary and that if I survived this I was going to move to Whiterun. Perhaps the women there were more kind and less… deadly. 

“You're very bad at making deals, Mr. Thief. I am the daughter of the Jarl of Windhelm, I am far from stupid and you would do well to remember that.”

“Hell no! Sorry baby, you can't insult my bartering skills and get away with it. I have a reputation to uphold.” I gave her a smirk and winked. For some reason, that seemed to piss her off more. Fucking women. Always so nit picky.

“Asshole. You really need to learn to shut that cocky mouth of yours. Women don't like men with intellect.” 

“Thank you!” I gave a little bow and fanned my forehead like I was hot. “You really know how to flatter a guy, don't you baby?”

“That's it! I'm gonna cut your balls off and tie them to my wall so I can remember this day and laugh. This will be my greatest accomplishment, yet. I'm doing the world a favor, really.” With those words she brandished her sword and raced towards me. Her face was the picture of beauty, red with rage and eyes bright with bloodlust. Ahh what a sight.

SWING

“You're a sarcastic son of a bitch, aren't you?”

“Really, it’s my pleasure. Well this has been fun, but I have to be going.” Shit, I'm fucked. I am so fucked. I took one step back coming into contact with the cold  stone wall. Dammit. 

I looked up and to my relief, there weren't any guards patrolling that area. ‘If only i could get up there.’ I risked a glance back at Ulfra and noticed that she had stopped running at me to pick up my loot bag. Fuck. When did I drop that?

Luckily I had the amulet in my pocket, thanking every deadra alive that i had been too lazy to put it in the bag when I stolen it. ‘I so need to stand in the mirror and praise my eternal greatness. That is if I survive.’

In her moment of distraction, I took out daggers. I jammed the sharp edges into the wall and quickly began scaling my way towards the top. “Bye, babe. This has been fun but I’ve got places to be!”

That caught her attention. She looked up and i laughed at the comical way her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Hey where are you going!” She rushed over and I was about to insult her masculinity again when she lunged upwards and gripped my leg. Well, this is great. 

“Let go! You fucking troll! How are you so strong? Have you been eating Deadra hearts for breakfast? Damn!” I tried to wiggle my leg free but her iron grip on my leg was impossible to break free of. 

“Not without my amulet.” Ulfra grit her teeth and pulled. One of the things pride myself on is my strength. I may be a thief but I am all lean muscle ready to slip in and out of unlocked windows. This bitch fucking pulled me off the wall like i was a loose nail in the wall! 

I am a thief. Perhaps if I had been a mage I would have cast a strength spell of maybe a fight spell. However, I don't study in the school of magic and I don't know how to do either of those things. I fell from the wall straight into the awaiting arms of my lovely captor. This is not how I had envisioned this day turning out. I may have thought that maybe she would turn out nice and beg me to sweep her off of her feet. However, it turned out that she was the one to sweep me off my feet.  
Well this is awkward. 

“So… this is nice,” I so wisely said. “You’re even prettier up close, babe.” A thought floated across my mind and I grinned slyly at the still confused Ulfra. I place my hands in either side of her head until her eyes focused on me. A gave her another flirtatious wink before leaning in and slotting our lips together in a chaste kiss. Wow. She isn't so bad for a violent bitch. 

When I pulled away she was looking at me like I was crazy, which I probably was. I utilized this moment and slipped from her arms. In a brief moment of genius, I remembered my loot bag and swiftly grabbed it from Ulfra’s belt. “We should do this again sometime. But maybe next time we can have more fun?” I have her a suggestive smile. Poor girl still looked a little dazed. Damn, was I that good?

I turned on my heel and dashed back down the alley. This was the beginning of my adventures. The decision to steal the amulet and run away from Ulfra and even giving her that kiss had sealed my fate. My life was to become an uneven path to which I had no clue what to do. My future was suddenly unclear and as I think back on it now. Maybe that wasn't so bad.


	2. Prologue Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys I did it but lookout for more of my works

Prologue Part 2

Well, fuck me. The bitch came back the next day and now I am once again on a run for my nuts. I wonder yet again where she gets all her freaking axes but yet again… maybe I don't want to know.

“Where are you, asshole? I know this is your fucking hideout!” She screamed, swing around one of the thousands of axes she carried. I was currently hiding in the said rafters of my aforementioned hideout. 

‘By Serogoreath’s fugly beard she talks too much,’ I think as I inch my way along the rafters toward the open window to the side. ‘Shit, I'm so dead. Goodbye balls, goodbye future children!’

“Come out from hiding you damn coward and maybe i'll think about letting you keep ONE of your balls.” She crept around the abandoned shack yelling insults and really shitty deals.

Crack.

‘Shit! Fuck! Dammit, I am so dead. I forgot that the rafter needed to be replaced. Fuck me and my lazy ways!’ Suddenly the rafter I was sitting on gave way and I fell toward the floor, the ground coming up to meet me. 

Thunk.

I landed on my shoulder and my head hit the floor with a sickening crack. Damn, now my face is gonna bruise. Surprisingly the crack came from the floor breaking under my head and not my actual skull. #Blessed

“Well, well, well nice of you to drop by.” 

Sarcastic bitch. I sit up and rub my head and my shoulder. Thank Akatosh, I have a thick skull. “Damn! That is so much more cool when they do it in the plays.”

“Well, now I have to castrate you.” She didn't even seem sad. She reached down and unsheathed her sword. I briefly remembering her saying it meant justice or some shit.

“Why do you have to? Can't you decide to be nice and stuff?” She gave me the most confused look and i literally started fucking laughing. I may have just sealed my fate. 

“I’ll be nice and give you a two second head start.” I'll take what i can get. I scramble to my feet as quick as i could and dashed headlong towards the door. I distantly hear the sounds of feet racing to catch up. Bitch may have had an entire army's worth of axes strapped on her armor but she could run fucking fast.

And that brings us to now, me running down the pier in Riften heading towards the black gate that i was now familiar with. The sewers and the thieves that dwelled there were not unknown to the common people but they were my family. If anyone could save me it would be those crazy sons of bitches. I could still hear the pounding footfalls of Ulfra racing down the steps of the pier after me.

I darted down the moldy brick halls that my boots had worn paths down many times over the years. ”Brynjolf, I fucked up real bad this time! That bitch is here!” iI yelled as loud as I could to get my uncle to here me. He was currently counting up our money with Sapphire and he usually doesn't like to be interrupted unless it is an emergency. I think now is a great emergency.

I never thought i would be so happy to hear Brynjolf’s raspy reply, but lo and behold miracles do happen. “What is it, lad? I'm a bit busy here!”

I breathed a sigh of relief as i finally reached the door to the Ragged Flagon. I raced down the pier and i got to the bar where a couple of the other members were having some drinks. They quickly got up and noticed the of the raging beast of bitch behind me. Talos, I can't believe i kissed her. 

“Well damn, you can run really fast with those axes all over you. Unfortunately it you, it’s more than just me this time.” I jumped on the counter and reached behind it for the silver axe that Vekel always kept there for cases like these. Meanwhile, my fellow thieving bastards brandished all there weapons in preparation of battle. This was about to be fucking awesome. 

“Who? Why? When?” Vex asked. She never cared about details only the important information, so i made sure to make my reply short and sweet as hell.

“Ulfra Stormcloak, stole her amulet. She's a little pissy, maybe she's on moon cycle?” I gave her a sly grin and glanced over at the huge ass form of Ulfra. She was standing on the pier, watching the guild and I. It was hard to tell she was there due to all the goddam axes she had. I mean, damn. Where did she find the room?

“The Thieves Guild, huh? Never would have guessed, with you being poor their and all,” Ulfra sneered. No one could see her face as she was still in the shadows, but you could imagine the ugly contortion that was her face. Probably something between a goblin and an orc?

Delvin, with his ancient ass wisdom decided to step in and start spouting shit. “I’m afraid you've gotten lost, this is not a guild we’re here to enjoy pretty and armed ladies walking in everyday.” Shit, Delvin what have you done?

Ulfra laughed and laughed like I’ve never heard her before. Scream of pain? Yes. Growl of anger? Check. Giggle like a bitch? I think not.

“Well I could have gone my entire life and never heard that. Is that what it sounds like when a daedra laughs it's ass off? Damn.” I said. I was dead serious too, I swear to Talos that the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

“Oh, I am so going to torture you. Cut your balls up slowly and skin them in front of you. Then i'll shove my axe up you ass so slow that you will feel every muscle in your body ripping apart as i force back out through your throat.” 

“By the Nine, lass, that is some really fucked up shit. Fuck, I’m sorry, lad, but I happen to have taken a shine to my balls and I wouldn't appreciate them being defiled in such a way.” Brynjolf had finally decided to join the party. Unfortunately, the bastard is abandoning me. Lucky son  
of a bitch.

THUNK.

“That was a warning, now give me my fucking amulet.” Right to business it seems. 

“Why is that thing so fucking important anyway?” I said to her showing her the amulet I have tied around my neck.

“You dumbass, why did you put the amulet on?” She started to sound panicked and stepped out of the shadows into the torch light and i could see that that panic reflected in her eyes.

“Finders’ keep. That's the rule of the game, sweet cheeks.” A sudden force knocked me from my position on the bar and I suddenly found myself with no air to breathe. A thick black void surrounded me and every breathe made my lungs heavier. 

Thunk. 

Splish.

“Arathrone?! Lad!” I distantly hear the sounds of Brynjolf calling for me. I forget about the amulet still tied securely around my neck and about the raging she-beast. All there is is darkness. Nothing to worry about anymore if i just close my eyes. . . . 

 

Somewhere in Atherius…  Martina Septum

 

“Wake up you fucking lazy piece of shit.” I blinked my eyes open. My head felt heavy and thick, like it was full of the sludge we sometimes find in the sewers. Ok, gross thought. 

“Whaaaa?” My tongue felt ten times heavier and i couldn't seem to get my mouth to form words. Was that a person standing over me? 

“Rise and shine, you cunt.” Whoever his savior is obviously did not save him out of the kindness of her heart. If her words had anything to show for her actions, she was probably blackmailed. 

“Whooo the fuuuk arrr ooo?” Nope, words are not a thing I am capable of yet apparently. This was going to be fun conversation.

“I’m your Granny, asshat. Can you walk? We’re kind of out in the open right now.” The mysterious figure, which I now knew to be a woman with blonde hair tied back with string. She had fierce onyx eyes and appeared to be around her early thirties. No way was this lady a grandma. 

“I think? Meh be.” Bullshit. I couldn't even wiggle my fingers, hell did I even have fingers still? The woman just laughed at me obviously noticing my lack of movement and connecting the dots.

“Well your wraith blood must be fucking with your motor skills, eh fuckface?” She smirked and reached to what i presume were my legs. I couldn't even move my head- how pathetic. I was drawn closer to the woman's chest and as she stood up I knew she was carrying me. I had suddenly went from fighting a man-woman hybrid to being carried like a fucking damsel in distress.

What had happened? The last thing I remember was being swept of my feet by some invisible force. I landed in- Oh, Talos, the water. I should be dead. What a fucking miracle that my stupid ass survived. But what about Brynjolf? Vex? Delvin? Are they ok? 

A sudden barrage of memories attacked my brain. I remembered being dragged out of the foul water by Ulfra and the disgusted look on her face. I had almost laughed except I was dying so that was impossible. “Dammit, why can't I get this damn amulet off of your corpse? I would compliment you on your ability to finally find use for your life, but I don't think you’ll make it much longer, baby.”

I let out a puff of air and watch with darkening vision as Ulfra failed to retrieve the amulet still tied to my neck. “Fuuuu k ooo, baaaa beee.” English. Nailed it.

By now Ulfra had given up trying to get the amulet off of me and sat down next to my body with a sigh. I tried to send her a glare, but i think i forgot that I was dying and instead it looked like I was constipated. I am one smooth motherfucker. It was at this moment that I remembered that I was a virgin and also about to die. I am one not so smooth nobody-fucker.

I snapped back to the reality where the crazy granny had saved me. She had carried me all the way to what looked like a cave hideout. Fuck, I have no idea where I am. Is that a dragon? What did I smoke because hot damn that was some good shit. Then I proceeded to gracefully pass out into the arms of my granny hero. 

So let's get one thing straight assholes, I am not at all stupid, I made sure to keep a knife in a breast pocket of my armor. Unfortunately for me, it shifted in the skirmish with Ulfra and I rolled right into the blade. Ouch.


End file.
